Champions League

It’s true, and we move to 15-14 with 10 games left. I don’t remember much except Chris Young Got reemed but I prevailed. I have one arm and bowels full of percocoet so I”m gonna cut it short but I believe this is the first time I’ve been over .500 this year.

That’s right, ladies, it’s true. The Hairys, as improbable as it seems, woke up this morning to find that they are still PTP champions. How long it takes for another team to man up and take the title from them remains to be seen, but if recent playptp.com activity is any indicator, the rest of the managers are content to remain curled in the fetal position whimpering for their mothers. And oh yes, I DID just say that.

ps. Manager Ockey urges ptp fans everywhere to check out Comissioner Utley’s recent blog post on his long and storied history with books. As you all know, Utley has a singular gift for writing - he manages to effortlessly and simply convey his thoughts and instill inspiration without even trying. I read that thing and I was scrambling for the nearest book just so I could start to try and be like Bri. Thank you Bri. Thank you Ted. For that 2021 Championship that you gave me.
Love,
Jerry

So I’m having a good season.   Yay.

No joke. I’m on the train and this girl across from me, her tit is poking out of her shirt. I am staring at a tit.

After a humiliating sweep which I’m sure Ted will discuss at length, the Breaker squad caught a lucky break during this morning’s commute.

Any more graphic and you would have to visit your bishop. Jerry, to fill you in, I had a fantastic ride on the train this morning and Ted, the sick bastard that he is, wanted me to draw it up.

Mgr. Utley traveled to Seattle this weekend to get a leg up on the December ‘07 draft by scouting phenom 20-year old Felix Hernandez. During pre-game Rich Harden motioned to Utley in the stands and the two discussed the possibility of Harden joining the ‘17 Knights mid-season, which is what Harden wanted more than anything. A contract wasn’t offered, but Utley promised the blossoming A’s ace that if he threw his heart out during the real ‘07 season, the Knights may have a place for him in the real-er ‘20 season.

With a good quarter of the 2017 season already in the books, fans everywhere are wondering: Have the humans finally figured out that wily computer??? Human managers Utley, Karren and Ockey are each in firm control of their respective divisions and only one computer team has a record above .500. Interestingly, there appears to be an “experience=wins” trend occurring as the human managers are rolling, the older computer teams are doing fairly well (aside from the Foxes, but cut them some slack - they’ve had to play me twice already) and the newer computer teams are really really bad - aside from the scorps who have maintained a .500 record to this point.

Why the human dominance so far? Did the computer not adapt its draft strategy for players from a different era? Perhaps. Has a fresh crop of retro players re-ignited the humans’ PTP spark? Very likely. Has the computer finally given up cheating? Not by a long-shot - just ask Bri following his gut-pummelling 11 inning loss to the Crows. Whatever the reason, fans everywhere are hoping the trend continues and that the humans bury the computer teams and spit on their graves.

I haven’t been able to play PTP for 12 days.  In fact, my series against Jerry and an hour with the computer comprise my entire PTP gaming for the month of February.

9 of my 13 losses have been by 1 run.

So I was bored here at work the other day and my mind started to wander.  It wasn’t long before it landed on PTP and I sat and thought for awhile about how awesome it is .  With the draft looming, I thought back to past drafts and the epic 6 Person Live Draft of 2013 in particular.  As I was thinking about that, I remembered that on that occasion, Bri had mentioned an article he had written about the band Bright Eyes on his blog.  Bored as I was, I thought “Hey, that sounds fun - I’ll go check out Bri’s blog.”  A couple mouse clicks later, there I was at bingwalker reading away.

Now, if you haven’t checked it out already, I highly recommend doing so.  In fact, the first thing I did when I got home was show Melissa some of the stuff that I knew she’d appreciate (photography stuff and the ‘10 things you should know when picking out fiction’ article).  Anyway, I spent a good couple hours poring over each and every article, photo and comment I could find.  Normally one might consider this “wasting time” on the internet, but on this occasion that was definitely not the case.  Not only did I consider myself more informed, entertained and inspired about a number of different topics (note to self:  buy ‘Mule Variations’, start watching ‘Heroes’ and begin researching outdoor grills for springtime purchase), but I had a newfound appreciation for my good friend.  There are a couple of things I think I already knew about Bri that became crystal clear after spending time with his completely sweet blog.  They are:

1 - Brian Utley is a man of action.  While plenty of people talk about doing plenty of things, Bri goes out and DOES them.  I’m sure loads of people talk about how they’d like get into photography.  What did Bri do?  Pretty much teach himself how to do it and now it is something he excels at.  Lots of people probably think it would be neat to live in San Francisco.  Bri went out and did it.  To paraphrase the title of a little tune by The Brian Jonestown Massacre, “Talk-Action=Crap”.  Obviously our esteemed commissioner has taken this principle to heart and I admire him profusely for it.

2 - Brian is not just good, but pretty much awesome at everything he does.  Anyone who has seen the ptp website in all of it’s incarnations and especially those of us who use it daily….make that hourly, can attest to Bri’s wicked skillz in all things computer.  As someone who couldn’t so much as type his name in excel if asked to do so, I stand in awe of these skills.  Throw in the aforementioned flair for photography, the masterful writing style we have all come to know and love and you get the idea.  This fact was brought home on our recent golf outing when Bri picked up his clubs for the first time in like 5 years or something and proceeded to make me feel as inadequate as those dudes on that boner medicine commercial who are watching their pal swing his driver that’s like 9 feet long.  It was like, the guy’s not even TRYING and he’s still awesome.  And that’s not even the important stuff - after looking at the photos of Bri’s kids, reading what he has written about them, and personally seeing him in action, it is crystal clear that he is also awesome at his most important role - that of a husband and father.  Brian is truly a Renaissance Man. 

So Bri, thanks once again for being a Commissioner without equal, a man of many talents and a friend I value deeply.

Signed,

Jerry Ockey,

Brian Utley Fanclub