Champions League

Game 1 against the Bengals, I throw Castillo and his 11.37 era. He leaves the game with an even higher era. Enter Washburn in relief, and his 10.29 era. He too would leave the game later with an even higher era. This is like 2004 all over again for my pitching-heavy drafted team that can’t pitch. Fryman did much of the damage against me, with his 4 hits including 2 bombs. They pasted me 12-6.

Game 2, Hudson starts for me (like he does nearly every game) and doesn’t last through the 3rd inning, giving up 6 hits and 3 walks that quickly. He got tagged for 4 runs, although only 1 was earned. My 3-0 lead early turned into a 4-3 deficit in the blink of an eye mostly due to a Polanco error. The game was tied at 5-5 going into the 8th, when Valentin hit a grand slam after they intentionally walked McGwire to load the bases. Little does the computer know that in this league, Valentin is much more potent than Big Mac. For good measure, Everett hit a grand slam in the 9th as well, as I win running away with it, 14-5. Everett collects 7 RBI and 2 dingers in the rout. My bullpen really comes through, pitching 6.1 innings of 1-run ball. It felt good like pastrami and beef.

Don’t let the final 12-3 final score fool you. The game was MUCH closer than that for most of the night and only after weaseling out of several scary situations with the tying run at the plate or worse did the Hairys pull away in the final inning.

This game was great on so many levels - from a morale stand-point, this was one that the Hairys needed desperately after getting all-out throttled in every facet of the game in Game 1. And from an entertainment stand-point, this was about as good as a PTP game can get. Behold:
Charles Johnson was injured for this game only
Rick Aguilera was injured for this game and 8 more days
Rafael Furcal was injured for this game and 2 more days
Mike Sirotka was injured for this game and 3 more days
Carl Everett was injured for this game only
Scott Rolen was ejected from this game
Tony McKnight was ejected from this game
John Franco was ejected from this game

That’s EIGHT players forcibly removed from the game via injury or ejection. Holy crap. Here’s how it went down. The Hairys got out to an early 1-0 lead thanks to Furcal’s single and swipe, No-mah’s sac and the Hurt’s single. But who cares - the Hairys led 1-0 in Game 1 as well and look how that thing ended. The bottom half of the 1st was an indication that this game was going to be out of the ordinary as weird plays abounded. Rolen drops a grounder then picks it up and makes a terrible throw, but still gets the out at 1st. Sheff K’s, but the ball rolls loose and he is barely nipped at first - then Mac launches one to center that “sounded good”, but comes up on the track. Thank goodness. The Hairys repeat their 1st inning fortunes as Ochoa singles/swipes and is brought in by a single from maniac Stynes. 2-0 Hairys. It was 4-0 after Charles Johnson wrapped a 2-run bomb around the foul pole for his 6th homer of the year. In the meantime, The Rocket was firing on all cylinders as he retired 11 of the first 12 batters he faced before giving up an RBI single to Grebek.

So, it’s 4-1 as we head to the 6th. Charles Johnson draws a lead-off walk off of Hog starter McKnight. Then, all hell breaks loose. Bri, I need you to teach me how to save the play-by-play dialogue boxes because this one was a BEAUT. I swear it was like 3 pages long. With this new patch, the pbp seems to have taken on a definite increase in flair, sass and verve and it was KILLING IT last night in Game 2. So anyway, Rolen gets drilled. He hobbles around, dusts himself and just when you thought all was well, he gets pissed, charges the mound and it is ON. Rolen and McKnight each land some blows and are ejected. Charles Johnson charges in from 1st but is cheap-shotted from behind by roid-rage’d Mac and is injured. Crazy Carl Everett comes racing in from center field whooping like Geronimo, but gets clubbed in the knee by Hairys bat-boy Travis - HE’s done for the day. And then, just when it appeared the scrum couldn’t get any worse, pussy-willow pitchers Sirotka and Aguilera lead the charges out of their respective pens, but each trips and gets trampled by their own squad. Sirotka gone for this one +3 and Aguilera this one +8. That’s right - EIGHT - when I first saw that I figured dude must have got himself shiv’d in that melee. Easily the worst injury in ptp history. Good thing he sucks balls and I won’t miss him a bit. Chaos eventually returns to order and Ted and Jerry are left with mouths agape and holes in their lineup to fill. Stynes is responsible for the only scoring after the war with another RBI single. Furcal lines out to 2nd and somehow injures himself for another 2 days in the process. That’s ELEVEN days worth of injuries for Ockey in one half inning of absolute MAYHEM. And it was glorious.

Things continue to be oh-so-weird as Big Mac steals a base (wtf?) in the 6th and then in the 7th, Polanco and Ortiz (who each had like 17 hits in the series) start a rally that results in a run scored and the bases loaded with Big Mac up again and a 5-2 score. Clemens has walked 2 straight batters and Ockey is straight crapping himself as launches one to center. But again, it is a few feet short and all is well. The Hairys go in order meekly in the top of the 8th and the Hogs threaten AGAIN in the bottom as Clemens is chased and the Hogs have the tying run at the plate in the form of Burkhart. Thankfully, he does NOT K, but instead grounds into an inning-ending GDP.

The Hairys want some insurance at this point and boy do they get it as they send 12 men to the plate in the 9th and drop a 7-spot on the Hog relievers. Who else but Stynes starts it with a double (to boost his avg back up to a ridiculous .558). Ozzie Timmons, playing for the injured Furcal, lobbies for more playing time and will get it as he goes 2-2 with a bomb and 4 RBI IN THE INNING. As the top of the frame comes to a close, we get probably the funniest PBP I’ve ever seen - something to the effect of “Well, after sending 12 men to the plate, it is FINALLY over. I don’t know how many RBI’s they had or who got them - my scorecard’s a mess. What I DO know is that it is now 12-2 for Gary.” Simply hilarious. The Hogs get another run to make it 12-3 and at last it is over and a classic game is added to ptp history.

 Game 1:

Caminiti hits another bomb, his 7th in 33 ABs.

Ellis Burks gets dumped to the 9 hole and decides to hit for the cycle.  He is the 3rd player to do it.  How come only my players hit for he cycle. 

Things are going great, the Crows are getting absolutely pummeled then they decide to go all Breakers on me and score 7 in the 8th, Kim comes in to give up his usual grand slam and the Crows come from being down 9-3 to winning 12-9.

Game 2:

Crows get pummeled again, but this time instead of using Kim in relief I decided to start him and he cowboy’s up striking out 10 in 5 innings and allowing only 3 runs.

Barry Larkin had a great series, blasting 3 out and Will Clark continues to defy all things with his .561/.647/.927 numbers.

Caminiti has 7 HRs and 23 RBIs after 10 games.

As a team the Breakers have hit 34 HRs in 394 ABs.  We have scored 102 runs.  That is an average of 10.2 runs/game.  As a team our slash numbers are .365/.433/.703.

As a league we are averaging 4.8 HRs/game.

Man it feels good sometimes just to win an easy one. Just to blow the other guy out, you know? A 13-5 Hog win over the Hairys gave Tim Hudson his 1st win, and Karren a sigh of relief following the win against the perennial powerhouse team from Gary, Indiana. McGwire, Hidalgo, and pr power rating Grebeck all hit homers off Hairy relievers, but the real damage was done in the first inning as Hairy starter Chen needed 52 pitches to get out of the inning. He pitched to 11 Smithfield batters, allowing 5 hits, 3 walks, and 6 runs in that 1st. Hudson, meanwhile, pitched well enough to win, allowing 4 runs in nearly 6 IP. Hog Barcelo got a save after throwing 3.1 innings of 1 hit ball. The numbers 8 and 9 hitters in the Smithfield lineup, Hector Ortiz and Placido Polanco, each banged out 4 hits in the game. Ortiz raised his average to .696. I’ll let Jerry tell the story of game 2, because, honestly, he killed me.

The Gary Hairys ventured outside of their own division for the first time Tuesday night to play the visiting Scorpions of Scottsdale. Game 1 was a typical 2019 affair with 23 total runs scored. This one was all about WALKS. Between the 2 teams, an amazing nineteen walks were passed out. Hairy starter Jaret Wright only gave up one hit in 5.1 innings, but his 5 walks were the reason he got touched for 3 runs. The Hairys jumped out to an early 3-0 lead as The Big Hurt and Delgado went back-to-back yak. It was awesome. Scorp Dempster was NOT awesome - particularly in the 2nd when he gave up a lead-off single and then walked the next 3 batters in succession. A 2-run double by Edmonds made it 6-2 in the 3rd and in the 6th Edmonds led off with a walk and that was it for Wright. Sadly, Fetters came on in relief and was really bad. He continued the trend of the day by walking the first 2 batters he faced to load the bases with no out and after an RBI ground-out by Justice, Hairy nemesis Glaus hit a 3-run tater to tie the game and exacerbate Ockey’s ulcer something fierce. Thank goodness the bottom of that inning was so glorious. Who started it all but Stynes, who went 2-4 to DROP his average to a passable .606. Stynes singled, then Furcal bunted for a single. No-mah walked to load the bases and Hurt hit a sac fly to give the Hairys their lead back. Delgado walked to re-load the bases and after a Charles Johnson K, things were grim. That’s when Scott Rolen decided to take over as he cranked a massive grand salami deep to right to give the Hairys an 11-6 cushion they would not relinquish - 13-10 Hairys in the end.

Scott Rolen then decided to get the 2nd game started off on the right foot as well. Walks again killed Scorp pitching as starter Brian Anderson walked the bases loaded for Rolen who, again, stepped up to the deli counter and said “Yeah, I’ll take the freaking huge salami you’ve got there.” Two grand slams in 3 at bats. That’s pretty sick, no? I’m really proud of Scott Rolen right now. The 2nd inning started off awesome too as Stynes walked AGAIN and No-mah went yard for a 6-0 Hairy lead. That would be enough for starter Wolf and the pen - barely. Bagwell homered twice and the Scorps cut it to 6-4 with the tying run at the plate, but Fultz got a couple outs to weasel free. Next up, the Hairys are due for their annual thrashing at the hands of the Hedgehogs. Fantastic. On Stynes-watch: Chris goes hitless unfortunately (avg droops to .571), but still walks twice and scores 2 runs to keep up the old OBP. I love this guy.

I know I’ve already expressed to both of you my fierce frustration and disbelief at Derek Jeter’s completelyl unreasonable power surge against me. But it bears repeating. Let’s get this out of the way: Derek Jeter has “pr” power vs. R. Not “av”, not “fr”, but POOR. So someone please explain to me why he has homered against me in 3 straight games off my righties. In fact, he’s flaunting his “pr” power. For the 2nd straight game, this piece of poo LED OFF THE GAME WITH A BOMB. For the 2nd straight game. A lead-off bomb. Off a righty. w t f ?

Game 1 in this series against the foxes was the first real breakdown by one of my starters this season. The Rocket got roasted to the tune of 8 hits and 7 runs in 5.1 innings. Jeter, Erstad, Berkman and Mags each had 2 RBI for the Foxes. The only Hairys offense came in the form of Charles Johnson who single-handedly tried to keep Gary alive by going yard in THREE straight at-bats and missing a record-tying fourth (tying who?? Oh yeah, fetch-face Jeter) by inches as his blast was hauled in at the track.

Game 2 was much better as the Hairys got an easy win courtesy of an offensive onslaught and Woody Williams. Williams went complete game for the win allowing 4 runs while striking out TEN (the 2nd straight game he’s had double-digit K’s). Williams got plenty of support - every Hairy had a hit and 6 had 2 or more. No-mah, Delgado, Ochoa and Charles Johnson went yard - Johnson’s 5th bomb in 3 games. Butt-face Jeter went 4-5 with, obviously, a 2-run jack. Oh, and by the way, Chris Stynes went 4-5 with 2 runs and 3 RBI. He’s batting .621 if you need him (and he’s played every day).

The Hairys completed an important sweep of division foe Brighton the other night (yeah, I’m a little behind on these reports) with a scary 11-8 victory. Randy Wolf took the hill for the first time on the season for Gary and he was matched up against Bengal Bohanon. It was obvious from the get-go that Bohanon had a bone to pick with the Hairys. Not since Ted’s Gustavo Chacin has a pitcher been so malevolent. Get this: Bohanon, in 3 innings, beans not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Hairys!!! Amazingly, no brawls ensued and no one was ejected (boring). As I said, Bohanon’s rancor was obvious from the get-go and indeed, his very first pitch drilled lead-off man Stynes, who would move to third on a Delgado single and score on a Big Hurt double. Fryman immediately tied the game up with a solo blast of Wolf in the top of the 2nd, but the Hairys would take a 3-1 lead right back thanks to a two-run blast by Stynes (who could be seen mouthing the unsavory phrase “How’s that taste, bitch?” to Bohanon as he rounded the bases - obviously Stynes did not enjoy getting drilled). Oh yeah - Stynes’ bomb also brought in Walker, who, you guessed it, had been beaned one batter earlier.

The Bengals made it 3-2 on an Ausmus RBI single, but Stynes nailed a 2nd would-be runner at the plate to preserve the Hairy lead. In the fourth, Bohanon really got jiggy - he put the first 2 men on via single and his FOURTH hit-batsman of the day before Stynes struck again with an RBI single that chased Bohanon. A No-mah sac fly made it 5-2 Hairys and things were looking groovy. A Charles Johnson pinch-hit solo shot made it 6-2 and even groovier. Edgardo Alfonzo countered with a pinch-hit solo job of his own, but the Hairys still maintained a 3 run lead in the 8th. But with the Hairy pen, things are never safe. The 8th inning was UGLY. Reliever Sullivan gives up a lead-off double to Higginson and Helton follows with a double of his own to make it 6-4. Sullivan gets 2 outs and is on the verge of escaping, but Tim Salmon hits a 2-run triple to tie it. The Hairys grab the lead right back on a sweet suicide squeezer in the bottom half, but then the Bengals go nuts again as the computer cheated something fierce. Hairy Darsenburg gets the first out in the 9th, but then gets injured for the next THREE days - thanks computer. Fetters comes in and gets the 2nd out and things look safe. Ockey doesn’t want any piece of Helton and hit .387 EX so he walks him - then Fetters gets carried away and walks Edgar too. Crap. Jay Bell hits a weak grounder to 1st, but Delgado goes Buckner and now the bases are juiced. Still 2 gone, though. But Fryman singles to left and Stynes boots it to allow 2 runs to score. Bengals LEAD 8-7. Holy crap this is NOT happening. Ockey is pissed, but soon relieved as his offense goes to work in the bottom half. Delgado walks, Big Hurt doubles, Rolen walked intentionally. Charles Johnson K’s and Ockey is freaking out - seeing a GDP ending this one. Thankfully Michael Tucker has other ideas as he launches a big fat walk-off salami into the seats at Tropicana. Awesome.

Ouch. 2 tight games that I gave away. No likie. Sirotka and Hernandez squared off in game 1 - both were horrible. Despite 4 homers by my guys, including McGwire’s 3rd in 3 games, their #’s 2,3,4,5,and 6 hitters all had 2 hits against me, and a big 8th inning for them broke an 8-8 tie for only their 3rd win of the season. Their reliever Speier is the hero - he goes 3 innings against me, allowing only a run while they made their big push. I make the classic blunder of trying to steal bases in this one, in the late, crucial, close innings, and get thrown out both times. 12-8 Foxes.

Game 2 bit it hard. I sent Washburn to the mound with his 15.43 ERA, and he allowed 3 runs in the first, including a 2-run shot to Glenallen Hill, his 2nd of the series - first 2 on the year. We tied it up twice in the late innings, thanks mostly to Sheffield cranking the long ball. (The first of his 5 homers this year to come with anyone on base). Horrid luck hits me in the 7th as I’d just tied the game, and 2 consecutive errors give them a couple runs. They came from guys who have great, low error ratings. More horrid luck occurs on the basepaths in the 7th and 8th innings as the computer decides for me that “wheels” McGwire wants to stretch a single into a double and gets thrown out, and then later as Fox Jorge Posada throws a ball to 2nd base from behind the plate to try to pick off my runner Polanco, and he’s called out. We keep tying this thing up and send it into extra innings, but we can’t really capitalize on a bases loaded and no out situation - we only get a run, and my depleted bullpen can’t last long as they get a couple runs to win it in a walkoff in the 10th.

I’m very confused at my mediocrity right now. I’m hurting inside.

Crows(1-6) vs. Breakers(5–0):

Kerry Wood got his 2nd start and got reemed as usual. B.Kim will most likely start in his place next time around. The Crows were up 5-2 until the 6th. Bay scored 2 in the 6th, 1 in the 7th, and 2 in the 8th to snake a 7-5 victory. The tying run came in the 7th when, with 1 out, I pinch ran B. Hunter at 1st, stole 2nd, stole 3rd, and scored on a ground ball. Barry Larkin doubled in the bottom of the 8th that scored Clark and Caminiti to put Bay ahead. Kim, Seanez, Lorraine, and Wohlers combined for 4.2 innings, allowing only 2 hits.

Will collected 4 walks and a hit.

Breakers 7, Crows 5

Breakers(6-0) vs. Gold Sox(3-3):

Rick Ankiel was back on the mound and pitched well until the 5th. After that, the Sox were up 7-5. Then I went ahead and scored 6 in the 7th and 7 in the 8th. A bunch of my guys had lots of RBIs, and Caminiti’s numbers are starting to look downright illegal (much like the steroids he was consuming at the time).

Sasaki got the win although his ERA climbed to an awesome 18.90.

Will collected 4 hits, including another bomb, but his streak of consecutive plate appearances reaching first base ended at 7.

Breakers 18, Gold Sox 10

Breakers(7-0) vs. Gold Sox (3-4):

For the 3rd straight game, the Breakers found themselves down in the 5th inning. But then we batted around in the 5th (The 3rd time in 2 that I have batted around). We ended up pulling it with room to spare.

My starter, Spencer was pulled in the 2nd inning, and my bullpen delivered, as it has learned to do. Lorraine, Kim, Wendell, Wohlers, and Seanez combined for 7.2 scoreless innings, allowing only 3 hits.

Breakers 9, Gold Sox 4

A couple highlights from the new play by play.

There were plenty more where that came from.  Jump in and check them out.

The Gary Hairys continued winning in a crucial intra-division beginning of the season stretch and they were carried to victory once again by their starting pitching. Having had a couple days off, Opening Day starter Bruce Chen was ready to take another crack at the Bengals and fortunately, Brighton had no more luck with him than they did the first time around. Chen was brilliant, keeping alive the Hairy starter trend of allowing only 1 run. Chen went 6.1 innings, allowing the one run on 5 hits while striking out 5, including a brilliant 3rd inning where he struck out the side.

The Hairy offense did its job as well as they manufactured a couple early runs thanks to the speed of Furcal and the hitting of Stynes who went 4-4 on the day with 3 runs scored to raise his average to .580-something (!!!) on the season. Then the big bats came out as The Big Hurt hit his first bomb of the year - a 2-run job to give Gary a 5-run cushion. With that same 6-1 lead in the 9th, Ockey felt it was safe to bring in his most questionable draft-day selection, Rick Aguilera. The SOLE reason Ockey made this pick was he was afraid the computer would somehow penalize him for not having a true rated closer on his staff (see how paranoid this game makes me??). So, he took Aguilera, whose numbers are ghastly, but at least he had his “closer”. So with a 5 run cushion, Ockey figured he was safe. After 3 batters, Ockey uttered Gob Bluth’s famous refrain, “I’ve made a huge mistake”. Aguilera made 7 pitches. Those pitches resulted in a hit batsman, a double, and a 3-run jack to make it 6-4 with NO out. Having not so much as recorded an out, Aguilera was yanked where he and his 99.99 ERA will most likely remain on the bench for quite some time. Some reliable relief was brought in, but even then after a walk, an infield single, and a wild pitch, the Bengals had men on 2nd and 3rd and the go-ahead run at the plate. Mercifully, a pop-up was induced, but even then, it was one of those “center-fielder is coming in…2nd basemen is going out…still going…still going” and I had this horrific vision of that thing dropping and the game being tied. Thankfully, Ochoa has wheels and got their in time to save the day.

After installing this new patch, the series against Brighton will continue, and so, hopefully, will Gary’s unreal starting pitching success as Randy Wolfe gets his first of the year. My guess is he’ll get shelled. You heard it here first.